adolescence and menopause in the same house

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.
Proverbs 15:18 NIV

Adolescence and menopause in the same house? I PRAY that doesn't happen. I can't imagine how things would be if I had a reduced capacity for patience, understanding and giving grace when faced with an unreasonable, prolonged outburst from a cranky person who has decided to use me as a scape goat for . . . everything. Seriously. EVERYTHING. Here's a sampling from this week:

If someone is hungry, it's my fault.
(why didn't I bring them a snack?).
If someone gets a haircut when they don't feel like it, my fault.
(when exactly WOULD be a good time?)
If someone has tangles in their hair, my fault.
(why didn't I braid it for sleeping?)
If American Idol gets erased from the DVR, my fault.
(why do I have so many shows set for "keep" anyway?)
If someone didn't finish a drawing in after school care, my fault.
(why did I come to pick up so early?)
If someone doesn't finish homework, my fault.
(I made them go to church on Wednesday night!)
If someone even HAS homework, it's my fault.
(not sure why, but I still get the grief)
If something is confiscated, my fault again.
(when you throw something, you lose it. The length of time lost is directly proportional to the force with which it was heaved and how heavy it is. Targets are irrelevent: people, cats, floor or air - it's all throwing.)

It seems like no matter what it is, I'm doin' it wrong. Oddly, I'm okay with that most of the time. Only by God's grace. There's no other answer for it. I'm certainly not able to do this on my own. Yesterday, I was tired. When I'm tired, I go straight for, "Nobody talk. Look out your (car) windows." Then it's either mumbling (the 11 year old big brother) or "but . . . " (the 6 year old little sister). "AAhhh! NOBODY talk."

I just have to make sure I'm never tired and I should be able to tap into that patience and understanding God is trying to equip me with. If I lose sight of my conscious objective of trying to model acceptable behavior and teach them to give each other grace, my attitude deteriorates. When that happens, bickering triumphs and my stated goals for raising my family are derailed. With so little time to implant and cement these fundamental concepts in my children's subconcious, I need excercise patience when they are behaving . . . like children. Today? So far, so good. But it is only 8:23 a.m. And it's Wednesday.

Adolescence and menopause in the house at the same time? As Oprah so frequently says: "I'm asceard."